Having a baby at 40 – any advice for an older mum?

Recently, a member asked us to post the following anonymously on our social media group: “Hi Mums, I’m 40 years old in June next year, and have two boys 15 years and 7 years – but both husband and myself are wanting a 3rd. If I’m completely honest, yes, it’s because I’d love a girl (but just want another child whatever the gender) …but really worried about my age. Has anyone else been an older mum, and had a child at 40+? Many thanks”


We had such a wonderful response from our members, full of encouragement and fab Mums who have loved having some (or all) of their babies later on in life – here’s a selection of the lovely things that were posted:


S: “I had my last son when I was 40 and 1/2 loved every minute of it and had such more patience xx go for it”


N: “I had two boys and when I was 37 I had a little girl. So happy I went for it”


C: “I had my daughter a few months before I turned 40. It’s hard work in some ways but has given me a new perspective on life too. I was quite young when I had my (now adult) son so I’m learning everything all over again. I’m really loving being an older mum!”


J: “My third child, a girl was born on my 44th birthday! No regrets and I feel better and healthier now than I did when I had my 2 boys now 21 and 24! Good luck x”


R: “My friend was 48 when she had twins. She is amazing and loves it!”


K: “I had my third, at 41 just a couple of months ago. I found the pregnancy tougher, but I do have a three and four-year-old too. However, the pregnancy itself health wise was fine, the birth too. I feel better, stronger and generally healthier this time, post birth than with the other two. I certainly wouldn’t say 40 is too old at all, just take good care of yourself (as you should do with any pregnancy). Good luck ”


L: “I had my first (only) baby 20 days before my 43rd birthday. He is now 4, makes me smile every day & loving every minute. wouldn’t change a thing”


G: “I had my 1st at 39, got pregnant again at 40 but sadly lost it and had my 2nd this year at 42. Both easy pregnancies no problems had C-section delivery for both apart from that all fine. Is quite tiring sometimes but no reason not to try again”


D: “I had my 1st boy when I was 25. My 2nd boy when I was 27. My 3rd boy when I was 30. Then my daughter when I was 40. I’m now 52 and love being an older mum it has kept me feeling young xx”


D: “I had my last age 43; I’m 50 now and still loving it; you are more patient. Go for it sweet”


L: “1st baby at 22, 2nd at 35, 3rd at 38, 4th at 42. I had a miscarriage at 44 and then my 5th a month before I was 46.

“Apparently you are more likely to have a girl in your late 30’s and the chance of multiples also increases with age. The chance of miscarriage is higher over 40 and the chance of your baby having Down’s syndrome also increases.

“My youngest son has Down’s syndrome and because of how it is presented by medical professionals, it was a big fear. When he was born all our fears disappeared. He is amazing and the best thing to happen to our family. I love having a large family and being an older mum has so many benefits. This post shows you won’t be lonely.”


G: “I had both my children in my forties – my daughter at 42 and my son at 45. Best thing in the world, both fairly good pregnancy – first was easier but then it’s always going to be harder with a young child running around! Would love another but now pushing 50 maybe not a wise decision! Did think long and hard about how old I would be when they are say 30 or 40 and if I am honest it still plays on my mind but who knows what’s going to happen in the future? We as mums do the best we can to make sure our children are happy and well-rounded people and my nan lived until she was 93 – so cross fingers!”


Z: “I have 4 children…. last two were aged 39 & 40. Honestly, age isn’t a problem but having two so close in age is – but I wouldn’t change it for the world! I will be honest though, hardest thing I have found is that I have lost a lot of “friends” whose kids are older and in a different stage of their life…. along with working full time, weekends have become a little lonely but again, wouldn’t change it! They make me smile every day – so nope, you aren’t too old!”



L: “I had my 3rd at 43. I was 23 and 27 when I had my other two. More patience definitely”


J: “It’s not easy, but it is great, I have so much more patience with him than I did when I had my daughters. The tiredness is a killer, so I won’t make out it’s not. I appreciate this child so much more, maybe because I know he’s my last, I don’t know? My pregnancy wasn’t great, blighted by HG all the way thru, but the birth was easy and the recovery was quick for me too. If you think you can do it…you can! All the best.”


J: “I had my miracle son at 45. Took me 20 years of trying with my ex trying different treatments, then met my now husband and fell pregnant a year into our relationship. The most amazing time of my life. I’m tired running around after my crazy 4-year-old nutter but wouldn’t swap back to my old life for anything. Totally love being his mummy and if it’s meant to be you will have another baby good luck x”


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